After my time of worship I find it more and more difficult to come back to this world. What shall I say… A day with the Lord changes everything! The more time I spend with him the more I want to be with him. It does not matter where he goes I want to be there. If he desires to use me, will I be a willing vessel? I sometimes miss the mark… opportunities lost; that after the fact I seem to be obviously aware I fell short. Repentance is a gift… beautiful gift. I make use of it often. The whole point being… I learn from my mistakes and I get to take the test over again. How can I thank my Savior enough for the second chances he has given me. His love may never change because he loves me perfectly…but my love for him grows more and more as I put more effort into knowing him. He is so delighted he can not help himself but to meet me and fill up my expectation of uncovering the secrets of who he is! I am not looking for gifts, rewards or anything from him but to know him. He is such a fascinating God. I can never grow bored with him. He is always doing things that leave me utterly speechless.
The point of this blog is only to stir others to seek out what I have found.. My time with him is not about… how many mistakes did I make to day? He never checks the score board when I come seeking time with him. He simply sees me delighting in him and singing my heart out in praise and utter awe of all the wonders and wisdom he has. The simplest form of love is child like. I come just asking how he does all the wonderful things he does. Telling him he is my hero, my mentor. I tell all my friends how great my Father is! He is glowing with joy. I ask him to show me how to do what he does so I can be like him. I ask him to explain what it means when he says this or that. He has no hesitations telling me what he means in such a way I understand. He talks to me in my language. Sometimes it is through the gardeners eye, other times through a farmers eye. Many times it is through a parents eye. But when he teaches me through his eyes… the Wow factor kicks in. So, I have to throw myself down and just worship him. He is so amazing I can hardly stand myself. It is in these moments He wants to give me something I never asked for… Some times it is physical and other times; spiritual. I am overjoyed when He asks me if I want to try it. He shows me how and helps me if I do not quite get it right the first time. What can I say… He is my Father and a very good one… a perfect one. I am never made to feel unloved even when I mess up so big I want to hide under my bed in fear and shame. One word and he woos me out from under my bed; gathers me up in his arms, hugs me and says lets fix this together!
I have to say I think he has spoiled me! I am never afraid to talk to him but I never want to disappoint him either. I want him to be proud of me; just as he wants me to be proud that he is my Father. He wants me to boast about him to everyone. And I do! It makes him smile and he will often surprise me with something I did not ask for but he knew I would enjoy. No one can change my mind, No one can tell me he is not “who he says he is”. I am still learning “who he is” and what he can do. He uncovers things hidden in me that I never knew were there. Sometimes I do not like what is exposed but he shows me, instead of trying to bury it… how to compost it or how to delete it from the file… hahaha! Some things just can not be tolerated. Clutter only slows me down .
I am blessed above all…I found heaven on earth! I walk and talk with my God everyday; all day. I can eat and drink with him and I come running when I hear him call my name. I know he wants to talk, teach or ask a favor of ME! Yes, sometimes he even has to correct me, but he has never made me to feel rejected or ashamed. His correction never turns me away from him but makes me want to hug him and thank him! How weird is that!
I may be the only one in this world who has this wonderful gift… but I would like to invite whomsoever wills….come find a whole new side of God that has been hidden from us by religion and hyper-grace. Do not get caught up in the extremes. One side; a stick in the mud and the other; a wild and careless bunch of rebellious children… find the balance by allowing God to be the Father, Teacher and Beloved all wrapped up in one. He is all things to all people. He knows just what you need to get you where you need to be… by his side. You were created for his delight… delight in him that’s all he desires from you.