I begin my day with the sunshine greeting me face to face. Finally! It comes out from hiding and it is glorious. The first thought, I blurt out Halleluiah! Thank You Jesus! I am excited as I know this day I will make the time to go on a walk and take in all the beauty of a cloudless sky and the warm breeze. I first take the time to humble myself before the Lord and just Bless him for being to kind to me by giving me this wonderful gift I have been longing for. I plan to go to the park and sit by the water and just be still and bask in the light… as I drive the Holy Spirit has other plans.
I find myself turning all my windows down, turning up the worship music and letting it rip! I had no idea how much has been pent up within my heart through these long dark days and nights. The more I sing out loud with all my heart the more God’s presence shows up to anoint me with exceedingly great joy! How long has it been … I am lost for time. My days seem to have run into each other in that I can not tell when one ends and another begins. I love when he raptures me out of this world.. all the limits of time and space gone! He lets me be who he created me to be!
I would not change My decision to walk away from everything and follow Jesus! I have been to hell and resurrected to heaven. Oh, if I could only tell the world the truth… How great, how deep, how beautiful the heart of God is. If I could only open the eyes of their heart… to receive life. This world is nothing; has nothing… that comes near to what I have experienced. Words are not enough… emotions can not express… If I could draw it paint it … still it would not be enough… If I could create a melody… that could express the freedom I now enjoy… Who could grasp it? Who would seek it? Who would walk away from everything to receive it?
I find myself at a park where I once visited to be alone with the Lord to walk and talk to him… though others probably thought I was off my rocker talking to myself! I did not care what others thought… My eyes were on Jesus… nothing else was in sight. I would pop in my earbuds and turn up the worship music and worship as I walked. I may have been praying in the spirit and singing in sign but Jesus loves it all. I put my whole self into his presence to delight in him… just to see him smile. I could never imagine God smiling at me but now that I know… I will not stop until I see that smile upon his face… and even then I do not want to stop… I do not want to leave his presence.
TODAY, I FELT THAT WAY AGAIN! It was wonderful to be outside in the sunshine… with my eyes closed while I walk and worship. The sunshine in my face was like standing before him and his glorious light shining on me consuming me spirit, soul and body! Who am I? That he should be to good to me? Who am I that he should fill me with his presence and wonderous love! I melt like wax; nothing but a blob of flesh lying humbled by his grace and mercy toward me. Arms open wide, I invite him to take all of me or none of me… he gets to choose freely; just as he allows me to choose freely to draw near or to stay aloof!
My soul is set free from all the things of this world and I am at peace. Peace that reminds me Of the River of Life. There is nothing more beautiful than sunshine on the water as it shimmers and makes its own beautiful music. I can sit and be still as long as I desire.. He never rushes me, he never forces me, He never discourages me to go away but to linger as long as my heart desires. When I walk along the River I see all creation displaying the glory of God, our Creator. I can not help but wonder what things lie hidden that have yet to be revealed… I hear a chuckle and I turn around to find My Savior waiting for me… How long was he watching me enjoying creation… he does not say… he only knows I have come to seek him out! He is happy as he extends his hand to draw me nearer. He whispers in my ear I have been waiting for you! He melts my heart and my strength leaves me… But he revives me so I can stand before him and adore him for who he is.
If I could persuade others to know him as I know him what words could I say. How could I express his presence, his love, his overwhelming peace. Ever muscle in my body relaxes and joy fills my soul so much so I want to dance through the wide open meadow where the sun never sets and there is never a cloudy day. Yeah… I know it’s hard to believe, hard to imagine but it is true… What can I say… to stir up desire to find my blessed Savior? What words could I say? He is all things to all people… He knows how to talk my language.. the language of creation. To another … what might he say? But to me; I need no interpreter. He speaks plainly, so simple, so dear my heart delights to hear him speak. He holds my attention that I can not turn away from him. I am speechless as he reveals himself in such a way I see and I understand exactly what he means. The pieces of the puzzle all come together to form a wonderful tapestry of life unfolding before my very eyes. I am in awe and wonder what good things he has planned for us… those who will draw near… to know him as he is!
Today I woke up from my wintery slumber of hibernating. Spring has sprung in my soul, my spirit revived like the early spring crocus popping up everywhere! Joy fills my heart and my mind begins to create images of opportunities… New life… resurrected from the deadness of winter. What is the plan… He has not revealed it yet… But I will gladly allow him to surprise me with his goodness and favor. I am because he is… my Beloved is mine and I am his… no one can steal him away from me… no one can lure him away… no one can change his love for me… only I can choose to walk away from him… but I can not… I have found where I belong and I choose… to stay with him… forever and ever …