I have been spending more and more time in the presence of the Lord, my Beloved. He draws me from my slumber and I gladly seek his face any time of the day oR night. But lately when he calls I linger longer and longer until one day leads into another and I lose track of time. This past week has been especially difficult to engage in the human side of life. The more time I spend in the spirit the less I desire to return to the flesh. I am suffering a spiritual separation anxiety If there is such a thing!
Today I was finally released to sleep, but before I fall into the “nothingness” I whisper wake me when you want to talk… 3.5 hours later I find myself awake desiring to worship and dance. As I enter into worship I pray in the spirit letting the Holy One say his piece. I just delight in listening to his voice as it woos me deeper and deeper into the presence of my Beloved. I begin to see a vision:
It appears as the tabernacle of Moses. I see many so busy serving at the Altar of Sacrifice and the Laver. I know this all represents man’s service in the world. Ministering to people who are in sin and bondage and need to repent or seeking healing, some come to worship… do there “duty” and some just curious about all the busyness of these people.
My eye is drawn next on those coming out of the Holy Place. There are very few who enter in to worship God face to face. As I watch, those that enter in to the tabernacle have very little to do with the people so busy, busy, busy in the outercourt service. What I see next … the inside of the Tabernacle, The Holy place. I see one person in there communing with God. Eating the Bread of Life , Praying in the Light of the Lampstand and offering praise, thanks, intercession and worship to God for his goodness and mercy. I find it odd that very few visit this Holy Place. I question God about the vision. He tells me that people believe it is more important to minister/ serve man than it is to minister and serve Me. I was taken back by his words. I declare they are doing a good work. He opens my understanding to see what he sees!
In the Holy Place is where spiritual warfare is done this does more service and ministry for mans total healing, peace and victory than to minister to mans fleshly needs. Man has forgotten the battle is in the spirit not the flesh.
I am speechless as I realize how fleshly man is… we “christians” or dare I say HUMANS do all the outward duties but neglect the inward more spiritual “duties”…Seeking God’s face. Maybe it is me but I love the Holy Place. It is where I can hear him speak as I feast on the Word, “The Bread of Life”! It is where I can see what he sees when I read the Word by his light. It is where he reveals to me who to pray for; what to pray and how to pray… Letting the Holy Spirit speak freely and if he so chooses to reveal anything to me it is for the sheer purpose to do his will or to cause me to be in awe and wonder of his wisdom. I am humbled that he should even allow me to speak his Holy Name let alone come into his “Presence” to worship, pray, intercede and receive spiritual food from his hand. Who am I that I should be invited into his “Presence”. I can only praise him for the atonement of Jesus’ Blood that blots out my sin so I can know “Who He Is , Was and will Always Be”! I am so grateful I have this opportunity to know him… experience his mercy, grace and forgiveness… after all “He who is forgiven much loves much”!
What can I say… but … I love very much!
Now my attention is turned to the Holy Of Holies! All I see is darkness! It is very empty! No one visits this place. It seems the people are afraid of this part of the Tabernacle. It is as though they do everything they can to avoid walking that way! I stand in wonder as it remains empty and feared. I question God? Why does no one come to spend time with you in this place? His reply breaks me:
This is the place of deepest darkness where I dwell in the Mysteries and secrets that no one desires to learn. This is the depths of wisdom very few dare to step foot. Fear of the unknown keeps them away because they can not separate themselves from the outward duties and be still long enough to wait for revelation to come in the still small voice. They are not willing to make the sacrifices to enter into the dark without knowing what lies beyond the unknown where they can not see. Trust is the key to enter in. One must completely trust Me to enter into the deepest darkness and allow my voice to guide them without seeing with the natural eye where they are going. They do to understand they must walk by faith! One must close the natural eye and just trust Me for ” Who I Am”. They do not know the spiritual eye sees clearer than the natural and makes the way level and straight.
I again question God… who by the way loves to answer our questions as long as we are respectful! I do not understand why? Why would someone not want to know the mysteries and secrets Hidden in your Word. Why would someone not want to know you? That is what Salvation is all about… knowing YOU! All the great things YOU have done in the Word. They all have a purpose and meaning… I want to know the WHY?
He smiles… He says Come I will show you…
to burn all the flesh away. My tough hide “flesh” suffered long and hard wanting more than anything to leap off that altar and go lick my wounds. But… By the Grace of God… His love for me bound me there hand and foot. Though I cried and begged; pleading to with him to stop because of the great pain suffering anguish to soul. In His Great Love He left me there until the Flesh was completely consumed! Today I am grateful for his ability to endure my wailing and pleading… For the Greater Good of my Soul!
I have gone to the laver to wash away all the ash and soot from my soul… so I can radiate his goodness and mercy in my life that is now set apart for him… to minister to him alone. I am a vessel emptied out, purified and now offered to be used for him to dwell in and through. That means allowing HIM “free will” to do what ever he desires with this resurrected body from the ash heap of hell fire and brimstone! I have gone into the Holy Place to learn from him what is truth and what is a lie… Oddly enough I learned all things are good because God is only Good and perfect. Now Here I am…
I have been given many gifts spiritual and natural… And what does he choose to use… MY WEAKNESSES! I am completely dependent on him to lead me; to allow the Holy Spirit to do the WORK! But it is not “work” it is an “UTTER DELIGHT” to watch him use my flesh to manifest himself.. to the point it is no longer I but “He who dwells in me” spirit, soul and body… I withhold nothing from him.. he has full access to any and every area of my life. I ask him to correct me if I even think of looking in the wrong direction! Who does that? ME! He loves it… because I trust him to love me enough not to allow me to wonder off into a place that will cause me to be separated from him. Its not about the Law! Its about delighting in Him… Who He Is… He is AWESOME! Wonderfully and fearfully AWESOME! I shudder at the thought of… He dwelling in Me! I LITERALLY CAN’T STAND MYSELF! I AWAIT THE DAY I SHALL FOREVER SHED THIS FLESHLY TABERNACLE AND BE A FREE SPIRIT TO NEVER AGAIN BE LIMITED BY THIS BODY TO WORSHIP HIM FOREVER AND FOREVER TO SING HIS PRAISES AND BLESS HIS HOLY NAME.