There are moments, times and seasons in our life when we must take that first step out of all the chaos and confusion. The moment when all the noise, activity and TALKING have to just be silenced for a while.
I find myself overwhelmed by people from every direction, some with good intentions and others not so good. My soul gets weary and I long for the Garden of Eden. I know there… no one can find me… no one can invade or trespass on holy ground. I soak myself in the peace and rest of the quietness of my soul and spirit.
I can finally BREATHE!
I close my eyes and whisper to my Beloved… just hold me… for a little while… just hold me.
I hear him walking in the Garden, I open my eyes and see him… he is coming to my rescue. Tears begin to fall as I rise and run to him arms open wide. He embraces me with such love I want to … come home. I want to stay with him forever.
He takes me to the River and sets me down by the waters. He gives me drink and refreshes me… with life.
I am weary and I can not go on… so he lets me rest in his strength. I whisper I do not want to fail you; I can’t fail you… again.
My heart aches as your truth burns within me. I long to share it with others but I can find none who will accept the truth. They prefer the lies of the flesh to ease their conscience of guilt and error.
Yes, I am grieved, my soul aches, I am sick in my spirit as there is no one to share this wonderful truth.
Like babes they remain… crying out and demanding their own way they throw themselves down on the ground in a fit. I look in wonder and awe, Beloved how can this be?
Beloved, your children are so… undisciplined, so arrogant, so prideful… so spoiled!
He whispers, Yes, they are. But I can not correct them unless you allow me. The more you protect them from correction the more they rebel. You must allow me to correct them.
I can only reply, I am sorry… so sorry. When I ask you to forgive them perhaps I did not understand they must be corrected to learn right from wrong. I now bear the consequences of their sin because I did not allow you to correct them. Forgive me and help me to step back and trust you to correct your own children in love. My own experiences from the past have led me astray. I have learned from my heavenly Father… he never corrects to destroy life but to bring life.
My beloved answers, Yes he is quite wonderful that way… if you trust him. He is always good, he always loves, he is always looking for faith and obedience.
I lay my head upon my Beloved’s shoulder, I weep… knowing it is of my own doing that I have been overwhelmed with the children the Beloved has put into my care. I may not have birthed them but I treat them as my own. Though they do not accept me as their foster mother, I still love them. I ask my Beloved to help me be strong. I have lost my strength in the war against good and evil. I am so weary trying to teach them as they rebel at every opportunity.
Beloved teach me a better way. Teach me the way the Father taught you so I can be like you. So I can be like the Father. I was created for you, perfectly molded to fit your desires. To be whatever vessel you need me to be. I pour myself out like water to the children and now I am empty. I need you to refresh me and fill me again.
I AM and I WILL… says my Beloved. I will be your strength, call on me and I will always be here for you.
I rest, silent and still I cling to my Beloved. He holds me in his strong arms and I feel myself let go of all the failures, all the overwhelming duties, all the rebellious children.
It’s just my Beloved and I.
I feel peace. I feel rest… I sleep!