The more I read the Word the more I find my life following the same path from Genesis to Revelations and back again to its beginning. I do not know how he does it but God is always at work and when I think I am falling behind… he shows me I am right where I am suppose to be. There are no coincidences with God… He knows what we need each and every moment of every day and night.
I felt very hungry and thirsty but not physically. My soul was longing for more… more of what I was not sure. My daily communion with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit seem to engulf my whole being and I do not realize the day has passed without me even taking notice to the time of day. His Written Word is being Spoken to me… revealed face to face. I forget I am here among the natural world. I find myself being raptured up into his presence only realizing it when I am raptured back to this physical world.
It is not as pleasant as one would think. Being with Him… wherever he is… and then coming back to the natural realm is like going from the palace life to the pig farm. I can not even compare it to prison because prison today is not like the prison I know. I have been in a prison all my life… until I died.
I can not compare the prison of this world to the prison of death. Its hold is suffocating like a boa constrictor that slowly kills as though it enjoys the suffering of its victim. This world and all its limits, prohibitions from our physical flesh to our soul… a prison no one wants to know. Yet many spend there whole life there; in darkness, emptiness.
The only difference between here and there is you still have HOPE in this place… that God’s mercy and grace can be shown to you. Over there… on the dark side of death, you lose all hope because hope no longer exist; all hope is gone in an instant, the twinkling of an eye it vanishes like breathing your last breath.
I do not know why? I can not reason it out… though I have asked the Father many times…why me? Why did he enter into deaths deep, dark chambers and choose to search me out and pluck me up out of its hands… its iron bars… its chains that held me fast. I may never fully understand why? I am only utterly grateful. I am bowed over in humility knowing I do not deserve such mercy, such kindness and such love.
I cannot explain the length of time I was gone. There is no time in death or in “heaven”. Dark is always dark and Light is always light. I have seen both sides. My advice… don’t play in the darkness; you may find yourself lost and unable to find your way back out. Every little sinful word, thought or deed takes you one more step deeper, descending into a downward spiral, like a vortex of a black hole. A place no one returns from.
Now that I know… the LIGHT is TRUTH and the TRUTH is the WORD and the WORD is GOD, I am in Awe and wonder. It is not the Written Word that saves us but the Spoken Word… What I mean is… it is not just reading the Word that saves a soul. No! It is when God’s Spirit interprets what God means when he says… It Is Written!
We have this funny corrupt way of interpreting God’s Perfect Word to mean what we want it to mean in our own understanding, experiences and environment. How else could we get so many people “denominations” translating scripture to mean something God never intended. So what does man do? He “revises” the Word of God. He makes it say what will ease his conscience and make him feel good about who he is… in and of himself. They divide the WORD!
I am nothing of the sort. I once demanded my rights… declaring YOU SAID…! It did not take the words to finish coming forth from my lips and The Voice of God thundered! Will “I” demand my rights or His will to be done! My heart stopped beating… again, I died!
Who can die twice and be revived? Who can be shown mercy twice and live to tell the story? I do not know why he gives me such grace and mercy… but to reveal the TRUTH to me. I am still here… he keeps sending me back… to tell others the TRUTH.
I write every day what he speaks to me. There are times he allows me to share what he speaks and others are shut up in my journal. I cannot remember the half of what he taught me. But somehow in the midst of conversing with others… my mouth has a voice of its own, the Holy Spirit takes over and I stand back in Awe; in amazement as I watch and listen to the Words coming out of my mouth without my brain being attached to it.
I admit… I am possess by the Spirit of the Living God. I am not ashamed. I can not hide it… He reveals himself when he feels like it and I will not hinder him or shove him back in into the box of my heart or mind; His Tabernacle. I emptied my attic (mind) the Holy Place now, and the basement (heart) the Most Holy place… of everything!
I buried what I crucified, and the excess flesh circumcised that was getting in the way of the Light. Like taking down the curtains from the windows of my mind and heart to let the sun shine in. It is exhilarating… like being on the beach… the water; rushing over me and the sunlight warming a cold ground ,the soil of the heart; life giving… from winter to spring.
I am alive! I am the seed he planted and I am growing ever higher and higher to the heights of heaven where he dwells. Perhaps he will be able to reach out and pluck fruit from my branches and eat of its fruit. After all the “Owner” should be the first to eat the first of what he has sown.
I give him all the fruit; the whole tree dedicated to the Lord… not just the tithe. I will keep nothing for myself. It is enough to see the look on his face as he enjoys the fruit of his labors. I am honored; privileged to see the look on his face and enjoy his presence. He makes me want to shine brighter, grow higher and multiply more and more fruit… just because I can see his face light up… I can see him smile and say… that’s good; that is really good.
I cry… for joy that floods my soul. I cry… that all may know him as I do. “We” are created for Eden… to delight in him and He in us… to walk and talk with him in the cool of the day; to allow him to be the Light of our Life, the Joy of our Heart. What more could anyone want? What more could we desire? Anything else is natural flesh; it is sin; it is an idol that has no place in his temple.
Come into the garden; taste and see how sweet it is to “know” the Lord; our God; our Savior.