My frequent raptures into the presence of my Beloved have ruined my desire to spend any time in the worldliness of this earth. I would not change one moment I have spent in His presence for anything this world has to offer.
The shallowness of life, the false lives people live and the abundance of material things leaves me grieved. I must return here from time to time but only to tell my story. How easy it is to leave this world behind.
My Beloved has changed my way of understanding. The cooler weather has been a gift to me. As My Beloved asks me what I want for my birthday, I respond… more of you. He smiles, I know he is pleased with my answer… I lay my head upon his chest and just bask in his affection for me.
I whisper Do I have to go back? He kisses my forehead and holds me tighter. I shed a tear… already knowing the answer.
He wipes the tear from my cheek and softly answers… I’m coming with you, is it so bad that not even my company can pursuade you to return.
I hesitate… it just is not the same I reply.
How so he asks; touching my face to turn my eyes upon his.
I respond… there I find the people too busy… to notice your presence. It breaks my heart they cant see you or hear you calling them… by name! I hear them slander your holiness and blame you for things they have sown and now reap. I see the hypocrites … lying to the innocent, ignorant and gullible. I hear the leaders twist your Word and make it suit their own natural understanding. Those who listen …. believe… because the leader had an education by man not the Holy Spirit who is the perfect Teacher. I see a whole sea of people walking around blind and deaf, wounded and codependant on man more than you. I see man has become an idol… mini gods even though they profess to know you… they know nothing of your ways.
Shall I go on… it does not end the deception of good and evil. Your “Body” is headless and they dont know it because the eye is part of the head! You taught me we ascend from glory to glory. We begin at the feet and ascend to the head. You have taught me well… to allow you to be my eyes and ears, my mind and my mouth. You do it all… my free will surrendered to you. Your Spirit “possesses” me. That is where I found my peace… no longer me making the decisions and suffering the consequences…but you choosing what is best for me and me learning to receive it! My life is so much easier, a simple life others condemn me out of envy for not taking control of my life!
I am not offended. I am sorrowful and yet ecstatic that they see I am not like them. I do not want what they have… I only want you. Just me and you walking and talking together and searching for hungry souls. Souls seeking… a better way… the way of Life.
He embraces me as my emotions get the best of me. He replies this is why “we” must go back. I want you to go with me… not I with you. I need a vessel who will allow me to do anything I choose without complaining, questioning and resisting everything I desire to do, no matter how small, how big , how difficult or unreasonable it may appear. Your heart is bound to me as one and I need a “body ” the Spirit can use without limits. You do this without realizing it everytime you let go of what you feel or think and just obey.
I sit in silence as I try to see what he sees in me. I think I am not worthy. All I know is how to do what I am told. But when Im not sure … the war begins to rise up within me. The war of my thoughts or your thoughts… is it me or you?
He smiles, I lay against him again. He whispers You know I can fix any mistake you make trying to do the right thing. I grab hold of him and cling to him for the love and understanding he has for me.
I cry yes and you do… everyday. The more time I spend with you lingers on a little more each time. I wonder when will I be able to stay and never go back again. I just want to pour all my love on you.
He holds me and whispers, And I desire to do the same for you… but in this… you resist. You must learn to receive also.
I blurt out… I have received the greatest gift of all… what can compare to your presence. I love your presence … you talking “with” me not at me! If the people only knew would they choose…
He kisses me and responds, How can they know unless “we” go and show them what they are missing?
I answer, You are correct as always… but the rejection… they choose not to know. They sentence themselves to …. hell… utter separation from your presence and goodness.
He responds, Yes. It is as you say… but they have free will to choose. I will not force them… just as I do not force you. You choose to surrender to my will even though you believe you have surrendered your free will… you still choose.
I confess…I suppose… but love… your love for me and my love for you is greater than my desire to say no to you.
He answers, Yes and it is precious to me and this is why I want you to receive all the goodness; the best I have planned for you. I love you so much. Your devotion is irrestible to me. How can I not want to spend time with you! I love that you desire to learn who I am. Nothing else.. just to know me.
I reply, You are beautiful to me…. I am in awe and wonder of how great your wisdom is revealed in all creation. It leaves me speechless.
He laughs… you are hardly speechless…
I can only hug him and smile I know he is always right.
So I find myself here on earth again…. looking for that one soul who is hungering for TRUTH.
Is God real?
Is he a cruel hell fire and brimestone judge condemning everyone who is not perfect to the lake of fire forever?
Is hell for real?
Is the BIBLE true?
Ignorance is not bliss.
What we dont know can hurt us.
The only way to find out is to search it out… not just reading a book but talking to he who you cant see until he opens your blind eyes to the invisible.
He knows your heart… how serious are you to know the real God. Or are you just looking for a genie in a bottle who will wave his magic wand and make it all “perfect”.
What is perfect?
You will find our ideas of perfect are misaligned with Truth. Only He, God can untangle the wicked web we have been ensnared by deception… lured by feelings, thoughts, words and actions.
Come out from among them and be separate… walk in heavenly places … walk by the Spirit not your “humaness.
There is a whole other realm just waiting to welcome you “Home”.