I find myself at a loss for words. I have a dream, a vision given to me by God. His Spirit reminds me daily not to let it go but to keep it in the forefront of my mind. I dream in the night and I am taken away from this world into the vision I had so long ago. I remember the day I was resurrected from death. I did not wake up here on earth, though at the time… I did not know I was “not” on earth.
I remember the moments of great fear and moments of deep sorrow confronted by my past . I never realized how my past had created my present and could destroy my future. As I learned each and every fear in me was rooted in deception. Ignorance was no friend to me. The more I learned from the Kingdom of God the more I realized how I depended on what others said and did to me to determine my worth, my value, my purpose.
I was not aware God is good. It sounds so simple yet when taught from a child God is watching everything I do… waiting for me to fail… to punish me for my sin to cast me into hell… forever. As a child I did not know what sin was? All I understood is if people were not pleased with me than neither was God. I was doomed… no one every encouraged me but reminded me of how disappointing I was to them. I could never do enough. I could never be …good enough. How does one succeed in life… adulthood… believing the lie… I was worthless. I can still hear the words… Why are you so stupid? They still ring in my mind at random moments when I feel ignorant. When I do not know the answers to solve the problems I encounter every day. Everything I try to do…fails. How could I ever please God?
I admit… I gave God “a run for the money” I am sure I tested his patience to the limit. How many times did he want to give up on me and just get rid of me… throw me away… like everyone else. I never knew… How much He Loved Me!
When He finally broke through the walls I had built around my soul, around my life and around my body… to keep everyone out… because no one ever cared enough to protect me. I never knew security. I never knew … Love. How He… God… managed to find His way into my heart.. I still can not grasp it. He never gave up… day after day he kept speaking good into my ears. I could not receive the Words He spoke. It sounds arrogant, rebellious, foolish, some call it pride. If I had any pride hiding in me it was knowing I was not as stupid as everyone spoke into me. I knew I was not loved.. they say they love but love does not hurt another for ones own benefit.
I have no recollection of time… there is no time in the Kingdom of God. It was always “day”… there is always Light. I do not mean light as we know light. I mean light that is ALIVE! It has Life, Energy, Force within it. It drew me like a magnet, a force I had no strength to resist. So I learn this is God, His Presence, His Goodness, His Love. It radiates like being catapulted out of ones body and being set free… free from the weight of the flesh. I could breath LIFE!
Everyone who hears my testimony asks me if I saw streets of gold, mansions, pearly gates, the precious jewels in the New Jerusalem. I tell them I saw nothing of the sort. I was taught in the Garden. God knew what I needed… It was not gold, sliver, diamonds, and rubies.. I did not need a mansion or angels serving me all the food I wanted. I did not need wealth, riches or possessions. I needed… THE TRUTH! I wanted to know Why God Hated me so!
I did not know in the beginning the man’s name taking care of me in my dead state was Yehoshua, whom Christians call “JESUS”. I knew His name all my life… It was beat into my head, He was the one that would sentence me to hell, because I was bad! All I knew, is this kind, gentle, quiet man never said anything mean to me. I never knew a man to be “nice”. I watched him… waiting for him to slip up and reveal His “true colors”. This was not the “JESUS” I was taught.
I do not know how long I was in the Kingdom of God, I only know I never wanted to leave the place I wanted to call home. I was never rushed, never pushed, never forced to do anything! If I spoke error… I was corrected in such a way I wanted to learn the right way to speak. The Truth always prevailed to change my thinking. Changing my thinking changed my heart, changing my heart changed my life!
I can not compare this world to that world. There were flowers and trees and meadows; endless meadows, wide open and untouched, unspoiled by man’s hands and evil inventions. God’s creation needs no improvements by man’s imaginations. There is water everywhere rivers of fresh Living Water. An Orchard where there is always fruit and it never rots! It is not just refreshing but healing to my soul. I received revelation there in the Orchard, just how much The Father loves me. It changed me. I will never be the same again. Once I tasted the Love of God I could not turn away even if it cost me my life. There is nothing I would not do… just to see the smile on His face again. I can not say “NO” to Him. He tests my words even to this day. Not even pain or suffering… not even the enemy can turn me away from focusing on His face. If I could draw a picture of what I had seen in his eyes no one would be able to resist Him. All those pictures we see of Jesus, they do no justice to the “real thing”!
My days in the Kingdom never end, even though I offer myself to return and tell the Truth of what I was taught. I was taught how to ascend and descend the Kingdom. There are days I admit… I want to go Home. I cry… my soul longing to return to that touchable God I never new loved me.
Here back in the earth, nothing is the same. I see differently. I hear different. I feel different. I walk different. Though rejected by humans… called a heretic, a liar, a deceiver, I have even been called… a JEW! As though I would be offended by that LABEL! I know I was made a Jew in the Kingdom even though I did not know what a Jew was. “JESUS” is a Jew so why would I be offended by being called a Jew? I receive that as a compliment. I do not mean to say I do what Jews do… the man made rituals.
I am Just Jesus… if he said it… I do it… its simple… man makes it difficult! I listen to what He tells me to do even if it sounds crazy, legalistic, or counters the Written WORD! It may be ok for others to demand there rights… legally… Written in the Word. We argue with God but God wins if You are Possessed by His Spirit! If not… your Will rebels against God’s Will. What he will allow others to do… He does not allow me to do. Why I do not know except He is testing my obedience to the very core of my faith in Him. Those random Acts of Obedience that he speaks to me at a moments notice… will I surrender… giving up my plans, my routine, my ideas and my list of things to do for His agenda! All for the sake… just to test my immediate obedience.
There is a reward for obedience. I do not care what the church preaches and teaches… obedience to God’s voice… to His Word… Written or Spoken has great rewards…To be in His presence and hear His voice revealing secrets… mysteries and revelations that I can not tell anyone but discuss them only with Him alone. Why do I say this… because He wants this kind of RELATIONSHIP with all of us.
We choose how close we want to be to God… the more we crucify our soul… our own thoughts, imaginations, thinking, reasoning, understanding and knowledge. When we surrender our heart to Him… letting go of the emotions that force us to react to all the evil done to us. Actions speak louder than words! It is not difficult to see who has crucified the heart and surrenders to God’s love! No one has the power to make you sin… you must give them the power over you, to surrender your authority to another just as Adam and Eve did in the Garden. The weaker always surrenders to the stronger. Who is stronger good or evil? Overcome evil with its opposite… the evil is twisted goodness. Every lie begins with a partial truth!
I return to earth with a vision… to tell the TRUTH. I write everything He says to me… I find each word builds on a previous Word. Everything is connected, just like creation. One is founded on the other… remove one piece and creation is thrown out of balance! Remove one part of God’s Word and the rest is thrown out of balance! This is where man has failed… He has removed the Law! The Law is the Word! The Word is Yehoshua, whom you call Jesus! Take the Law away and you remove Jesus from the Word. Take away the Law and one becomes Lawless! Take away the Law… and even sinners can not be brought to justice! No Law means No One… not even the wicked can be judged for sin because the Law reveals what is sin… what destroys LIFE! What destroys LIGHT and LOVE! God is all these things… Take away the Law and you take God out of the world, out of creation, out of man… what is left… chaos, darkness, a void so vast it is like a black hole that never ends. We return to Genesis 1.
The oximoron of it all… we do not want to be judged… when we sin… but if someone sins against us … WE WANT JUSTICE… IMMEDIATELY… WITHOUT MERCY… WITHOUT GRACE AND WE WANT TO BE THE JUDGE, JURY AND JAILOR! WE WANT TO CARRY OUT THE SENTENCE OURSELVES AND GIVE THEM EVERY STRIPE THEY DESERVE!
SO WHERE IS THE SCRIPTURE … Do to others what You want done to you! What you want God to do to you! What you have done to others you do to Jesus! We reap what we sow! These famous scriptures are always twisted to suit our own benefit! Without Justice evil prospers! We now call good evil and evil good! We call Righteousness sin and wickedness good. We call correction, discipline and holiness evil. But rebellion disobedience and pride is good! The wicked will destroy themselves… because they know not God’s Light, Love or Truth!
My vision… To be Light, Love And Truth. To Be Holy, Pure in spirit, soul and body so the Light and Love of God is seen… felt and for the world to Know…
God is Not dead!