you know it’s time to go home when there are no regrets, nothing else to pursue, nothing else to say…
I have been longing for Home for quite a while now. I have been traveling place to place far too long to visit those crying out, praying for God to answer their prayers. He sent me. I confess, when I prayed to preach the gospel I did not expect to be living with those I was sent to preach the truth.
As it turns out, what I witnessed was not Christians eager for righteousness or truth, instead what I saw broke my heart. How ungrateful these “Christians” were for all the blessings God has given them in the natural realm. How could he trust them with the spiritual treasure far more valuable than any natural gifts.
As I lived among those “Christians” many of them refused to allow the Holy Spirit to have Authority over their natural house and spiritual house. They even resist letting go of the many idols they worship openly without shame. They accuse God Almighty of evil, curse him to his face and use profane gestures that I would not use even privately.
When the Holy Spirit leaves then so do I. I go where he goes and stay where he stays. The past few years I have had nothing but a few pieces of clothing, necessities, the WORD OF GOD, and my journal to record my spiritual journey, and of course bills that follow all of us no matter where we go.
I have not found any willing to crossover to the spirit realm. They cling to the earthly side of life. I pray in the spirit… because I felt like a failure unable to persuade anyone to step into the water … a little deeper to get closer to God. His reply… They have free will. He never forces anyone to go deeper or even to step into the water to be baptized… by HIM!
As time has progressed, I came to realize one important thing… I miss my alone time with MY FATHER, His SON and His Holy Spirit, I call Teacher. I miss the endless TIME in the garden- worshiping and lavishing love on He, who loved me first. Too much Time away from Him only made me more Home-sick, Love-sick and desire to run Home and beg Him to let me stay… at HOME… in the garden with Him, walking and talking with Him. I can not find anything on earth more enjoyable then to be caught up in the Spirit and “JUST BE”. He can rapture me any time, any where, anyway He wants to as long as He wants.
I let go of everything to do His will. My only possessions, things that fit in my vehicle and a storage unit that I use to be a blessing where ever the Holy Spirit takes me. Uprooted about every 3 months wearies the soul. Never able to settle down and take root, I never imagined I would be living the life of a disciple.
Many of those I visited thought I was a fake trying to escape responsibilities. My soul responsibility was the will of MY FATHER. Why did He choose me. I can’t say I understand His ways. I just trust Him.
There were others who did not understand my devotion to the WORD. I love the Word.. not just the written, The Word made flesh, My Savior, the Light of my Life… the Love of my Life. There is no place I’d rather BE than with Him.
I don’t know how but I have run my course. I am grieved beyond my ability to contain my-self. I can not watch as “Christians” reject the Word and the Spirit of Truth. I can’t watch them curse God and sin so arrogantly and then declare all their sins are covered under the Blood! Blasphemy! As they blame God of Being evil, and call satan good. If they can do evil and call it good or … grace, then how can they call God evil who sent the WORD, in the flesh, to heal them of their sin!
Now, I understand why God wants us to seek Him… He has chased us down since the beginning and we make light of it as though it is common for a king to chase down the common people to accept Him. God longs to share Himself with us. We treat Him as though we are above Him and He must beg to spend time with us. Will the Sovereign God worship what he created? Does He bow down to us?
This is not our Home! We were created to be with Him in the Spirit not the flesh… what I mean is no flesh can stand in God’s presence… and live! I know that I know we must die once… not twice. So, if we are willing to die to the ways of the flesh… let the Father crucify us to prove whom we love… Him or our own self! The fleshly soul will never lay down the natural life… for fear the soul will not live beyond the grave!
There is no other place I’d rather be than with He who Saved me. I was amazed… how many “Christians” want heaven but not to know The Word, The Truth, The Father, Son, or Holy spirit. They just want to have the good life, the easy life, but the good life is simply Being right… in relationship with The Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
I confess, I’m in love with my Savior and Lord. My eyes are focused on him alone. I can’t take my eyes off him… and I don’t want to, ever.
My home is with him, walking and talking with him. I don’t belong out there in the world with those who pretend to “Love” my Savior, but really only want a “get out of hell free” ticket. That makes me sad that they would use my Beloved so deceivingly. My heart weeps for Him… that he is so gracious and kind and gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and they are so… fake. I am glad He knows all the thoughts of every soul.
I still pray for them… to forsake the world. If they could only see beyond the natural… would they let go of all the idols and pursue him with their whole soul. I can only hope… I can only ask… The Father, My Father to reveal the Truth then let them choose… who they will bow down to, whom they will serve, whom they …LOVE.